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AZ Regulated Public Schools Criticized, De-Funded… AZ Deregulated For-Profit Private Schools “Empowered”

March 5, 2016

In a blunt satire Mad Magazine, the National Lampoon, and Jonathan Swift would appreciate Tucson AZ cartoonist and editorial writer David Fitzsimmons skewers Doug Ducey, the AZ Governor and his toady Chief of Staff Kirk Adams for their latest Koch inspired gambit to underfund public education in AZ and line the pockets of for-profit public schools. In an imagined dialogue between the two State leaders, Fitzsimmons has Adams proudly declaring that AZ now has the worst funded public education system in the nation and his plan to make them even worse through legislation that will provide parents of all students, including homeschoolers, with ‘Empowerment Scholarship Accounts’. The plan has run into one problem, though:

…The entire Tea Party is mad as hell because some Muslim-Americans may send their kids to Muslim schools. They say we’re funding madrassas on the taxpayer’s dime.”

Fear not, though… this is a small price to pay for deregulation. Fitzsimmons’ imagined chief of staff has an answer for his boss:

The governor thought deeply. “If TUSD was teaching Juan and Juanita to revolt against this great country of ours — heaven knows what Ali and Jasmine are learning! I thought we regulated that kind of thing.”

Adams spoke calmly. “We don’t regulate private education, governor. Unlike our public schools, they’re completely unaccountable, unregulated and unchecked. There is no oversight. Home schoolers, private schools and parochial schools all operate in the dark. Remember, governor, we only use oversight and regulation to cripple public education.”

This column would be hilarious if it didn’t describe the ALEC playbook funded by the Koch brothers and their pro-privatization crowd who need to suppress the wages and benefits of the private sector to make certain they can continue to keep the wheels on the bus of deregulated capitalism that rewarded their father and them so handsomely.


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